there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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