how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
