this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
