when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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