Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
