we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize