I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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