I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
