we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
