Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
