Christians are straight up FREAKS
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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