and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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