DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
