i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
