It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
