My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
