i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
