Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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