he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
birth control should be required to get into college
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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