After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
