hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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