Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
