That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Randomize
