omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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