i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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