Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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