I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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