Little spoons don't ask big questions
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Come on in and take your pants off
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