I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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