Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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