I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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