we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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