how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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