this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
