Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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