So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
