i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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