he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
