I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
