My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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