Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
