you guys were way drunker than both of me
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
