ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
My dick has a subreddit
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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