It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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