Acid is not a monday night drug
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
