It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
