all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
