This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
