We named our party play list daddy issues
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
