The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Soap is not a condiment
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
