even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
