I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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