I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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